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Emily's Attic
Mar. 8th, 2006
08:04 pm
Okay, who else is totally wierded out by the new Canada Post/Giant Flaming Arcade Fire Ripoff Soundtrack advert?
07:50 pm - What I'm up to these days...
I haven’t posted anything since I moved to Regina in October. Partly it’s because I’ve been busy. Partly, it’s because I’ve been going through a typical prairie-bride first winter malaise. (See Why Shoot the Teacher: “Canada’s a nice country. In the spring. Sometimes.” And also see Little Town on the Prairie, when Mrs. Brewster goes crazy with the butcher knife.) But mostly, it’s because I’ve been having a major existential crisis, and then a major epiphany/revelation, that’ve taken all my mental and creative energy to sort out. And I want to write about this crisis/revelation now, because it’s important to me, and because I feel like a lot of my dearest friends won’t get to experience something similar.
You see, I’ve been completely removed from my native surroundings. After a lifetime in downtown Toronto, where I knew all the rules, and how I related to my surroundings, I was suddenly living in a place that was culturally and aesthetically alien to me, with no frame of reference. (For my few American friends, imagine a hipster girl who grew up in Hell’s Kitchen moving to fucking Omaha, or something, and you’ll get the gist.) I’ve been left to my own devices. It hasn’t been fun, but I’ve had to look at myself, divorced from my surroundings, and that’s a good thing, I think. I’ve made two important discoveries.
(Don’t worry, I haven’t gone all godbag on y’all.)
1) I am an asshole. In a lot of ways. It’s not terminal, it’s not incurable, but it’s the way I’ve behaved.
For a long time, I’ve had the notion that my own personal and professional failures somehow absolved me of moral responsibility. It wasn’t a particularly original justification, but it was odd in that I was always so acutely conscious of my excuse. I didn’t feel terribly ill-used by the world – I’d had a reasonably decent start in life (That I’d failed utterly to take advantage of) and more than a few lucky breaks, (That I’d thoroughly fucked up) and the good will of dozens of friends (Who I always managed to eventually abuse and/or abandon.).
No, my jerkiness wasn’t so much a revenge on the world, but a fallback moral career choice. Like those talented friends of mine whose substitute teaching gigs turned into lifelong, soulkilling, Board of Ed employment. I was an asshole because I felt I’d exhausted all ethical options. And when I turned out to be a little too good at being a sponging, starfucking asshole, I felt like, there, I guess this is who I’ve got to be.
This was followed closely by another revelation –
2) For my entire adult life, I’ve thought of myself as a hopeless, aimless slacker. A girl who couldn’t even set goals, let alone achieve them. But I realized that, for the past six or so years, I have had goals:
- Being cool.
- Being very, very cool.
- Getting invitations to parties.
- Getting my name on the guest list.
- Being well dressed.
- Being a girl DJ with an awesome record collection.
- Being adorable.
- Having all the Bitter Old Punk guys fall in love with me.
…etc.
And, do you know what? I achieved these goals. I was cool, I was adorable, I was fuckable. I was invited to parties and shows. I mightn’t have been the Scene Queen, but I was a legitimate Grand Duchess and I enjoyed myself.
So, it wasn’t that I was incapable of setting or achieving goals. The problem was that my goals, at the end of the day, were pretty fucking lame. They weren’t the kind of goals that would bring me any lasting happiness, or financial independence.
And here I am in Saskatchewan, in a place where everything’s so fucking mangiacake. Where people skip straight from adolescence to middle age, without having an adulthood in-between. And I’m cool, and adorable, and fuckable, and it doesn’t matter. Being the coolest person in Regina is like being the prom queen in a graduating class of twelve – who fucking cares? It’s not an accomplishment, it’s a fucking accessory.
And now my job is figuring out what I really want to do, who I really am. Free of expectations, and dress codes and peer recognition, what makes me happy?
I don’t know. But I think I’m finally asking the right questions.
(I'll start posting my Prairie Dog fetures and reviews soon. I had to deal with my soul before I dealt with my stereo, dig?)
(Hey, another reason I haven’t been blogging is that I’ve been busy writing music, books, and “lifestyle” (shopping) articles for the Regina Prairie Dog, our local alternative newspaper. There’s no online edition yet, but I’m working on it.)
Sep. 8th, 2005
03:45 am
So, I've been too busy to update all summer. Real Life has gotten pretty intense: I'm moving to Saskatchewan, y'all. Also, I've spent the past two weeks obsesively reading the news and freaking out about the state of a) planet b) insane elephant to the south.
Alex Chilton has been reported seen alive and well, having leant his car to neighbours so they could evacuate, and ridden out the storm in the 9th quarter.
Just in case y'all needed some good news.
Jul. 12th, 2005
07:41 am
No show this week - I'm stuck in Regina. Which, by the way, has a fantastic community radio station, that you can listen to at www.cjtr.com
07:31 am - Set list - 6/7
Song/artist/album/label. * = Canadian content.
Modern Girl/Sleater-Kinney/The Woods/Sub Pop
Radiator/Jake Fairley/Touch Not The Cat/Paper Bag*
Snare Me/We Are Wolves/Non Stop Je Te Plie En Deux/Mintaka Conspiracy*
A Sudden Death/The Organ/CBC Radio 3 Sessions/CBC*
smile around the face/Four Tet/Everything Ecstatic/Domino
This Modern Love/Bloc Party/Silent Alarm/Dim Mak
Quarantine/The Creeping Nobodies/Stop Movement Stop Loss/Blocks*
The Roaches Will Not Survive/Republic of Safety/Passport/independent*
The Oscillator's Hum/Frog Eyes/The Folded Palm/Absolutely Kosher*
A Very Fraid/Les Angles Mort/What's Real/Blue Skies Turn Black*
Green Cosmos/Deerhoof/Green Cosmos/Menlo Park
The Score/No Wait Wait/ s/t /Chairkickers' Union
Can't get your face out of my head/The Golden Dogs/ s/t / True North*
Heliopolis By Night/Aberfeldy/Young Forever/Rough Trade
My Embarrassing Dream/Scribbled Out Man/Circa 65/Zunior*
i run faster than you can/Faris Nourallah/King of Sweden/Western Vinyl
I Did Him Wrong/The Del-Monas/Do the Uncle Willy/Get Hip
If You Knew/Neko Case and the Sadies/The Tigers Have Spoken/Mint*
The Change/Elevator/August/Outside*
Osaka/Mika Bomb/Hellcats/Damaged Goods
No More Goodbyes/Denise James/It's Not Enough to Love/Rainbow Quartz
On Lavender Hill/The Real Tuesday Weld/The Return of the Clerkenwell Kid/Six
Degrees
The One You Love/Rufus Wainwright/Want Two/Geffen*
Blue's the Only Colour/Franklin Bruno/A Cat May Look at a Queen/Absolutely
Kosher
Hardcore Romantics/Mark Mallman/Mr. Serious/Badman
Let's Call It Love/Sleater-Kinney/The Woods/Sub Pop
The Songwriter/Julie Doiron/Goodnight Nobody/Endearing*
Apples in the Trees/Mirah/You Think It's Like This But Really It's Like
This/K
At the House of the Clerkenwell Kid/The Real Tuesday Weld/The Return of
the Clerkenwell Kid/Six Degrees
07:29 am - Set list - 28/6
song/artist/album/label. * = Canadian content.
Memphis, Egypt/The Mekons/Heaven and Hell: The very best of the Mekons/Cooking
Vinyl
Long Distance/Dixie Dirt/Pieces of the World/indepemdent
Subjects and Matter/A Northern Chorus/Bitter Hands Resign//Sonic Unyon*
The Opposite of Hallelujah/Jens Lekman/The Opposite of Hallelujah/Secretly
Canadian
Where did your organ went?/Flection/Never Took a Wife/Kelp*
fishbowlspill/The Pauls/Pauls or Nothing/Free*
The Book of Right-On/Joanna Newsome/The Milk-Eyed Mender/Drag City
If your kisses can't hold the man you love/Rasputina/Frustration
Plantation/Instinct
Nun or a Bawd/Deep Dark United/Ancient/Blocks*
Your Honor/Regina Spektor/Soviet Kitsch/Sire
The Cloud Room/Laura Veirs/Carbon Glacier/Nonesuch
Paul Simon/The Russian Futurists/Our Thickness/Upper Class*
Tigerlily/Luna/Live/Beggars Banquet
Policy for Giving In/The Classic Brown/Down With Fun/independent*
She's The Source/The Ladies and Gentlemen/Small Sins/Boompa*
Ocean of Wine/Helim/Magic City/Matador
The Astoria Hotel/The Neins Circa/Sunday Anthems/The Blue Curtain*
Second Place/Dressy Bessy/Electrified/Transdreamer
Shut Up and Kiss Me/Pony Up!/ s/t /Dim Mak*
Satellite/TV on the Radio/Young Liars/Touch and Go
Truth Be Told/Joel Plaskett/La De Da/Maplemusic
The Summer/Yo La Tengo/Prisoners of Love/Matador
It Ended on an Oily Stage/British Sea Power/Open Season/Rough Trade
Bees/Caribou/The Milk of Human Kindness/Domino
Cockeyed Cookie Pusher/Fog/Hummer/Ninja Tune
What Makes You Think You're the One?/Chris Page/Decide to Stay and Swim/Kelp
Jun. 5th, 2005
03:21 pm
Oh, bloody hell. So my roommate,the genius linux geek, goes away on business for a week, leaving our interweb setup half-redone. Which is to say, not working at all. I've prevailed upon my swell neighbour to let me use his puter to check my email and type in this, explaining why there'll be no set list up this week. I'll catch up later.
And y'all know the show's moving to Tuesdays, right?
Oh, and abovementioned comuter genius and I are looking for a third person to share our huge, swanky, yet somewhat eclecticly organized loft space. Give me a shout if yr interested.
May. 30th, 2005
12:56 am - set list - 9/5/5
Fuzz Hill/The Noodles/Fuzz Hill/AAD
Shot Me Down/The Local Rabbits/The Super Duper ep/En Guard
Sunshine/Sean MacDonald/Demographic Blues/Manitoba Film and Sound
Every Morning/Veda Hille/Return of the Killdeer/Ape House
Girl Anachronism/The Dresden Dolls/ s/t /independent
Twin Brother/John Doe/Forever hasn't happened yet/Yep Roc
Tonight the moon doesn't matter/A Fir-Ju Well/Absolutely/International Hits
Semi-Sweet/Lederhosen Lucil/Tales from the Pantry.independent
Nun or a Bawd/Deep Dark United/Ancient/Blocks
Dear Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts/Wolf Parade/ s/t /independent
THe Power is On!/The Go!Team/Thunder, Lightning, Strike/Memphis Industries
It all comes down to Mars/Falconhawk/Here's Your Ghost/Saved by Radio
Positive Tension/Bloc Party/Silent Alarm/Vice
It Ended on an Oily Stage/British Sea Power/Open Season/Rough Trade
Song for Myla Goldberg/The Decemberists/Her Majesty the Decemberists/Kill Rock Stars
Light o'Love/P;ano/Brigadoon/Mint
My Embarassing Dream/The Scribbled Out Man/Circa 65/Zunior
All Over Town/De Novo Dahl/Cata and Kittens/Theory 8
End of a Hollywood Bedtime Story/The Dears/Thank You Good Night Sold Out/Maplemusic
Kitchen Song/Sadoceanspacebear/ s/t /Alien Girl
You make me weak at the knees/Electrelane/The Power Out/Too Pure
Home Again Garden Grove/The Mountain Goats/We Shall All Be Healed/4AD
Gemstones/Adam Green/Gemstones/Rough Trade
Papillon/The Radar Bros./The Fallen Leaf Pages/Merge
Your Honor/Regina Spektor/Soviet Kitsch/Sire
Where did Your Organ Went?/Flection/Never Took a Wife/Kelp
I run faster than you can/Faris Nourallah/Cecretly Canadian
The Lion Tamer/Three Finger Cowboy/Hooray for Love/Daemon
Citizen's Arrest/Jason Anderson/The Wreath/K
May. 9th, 2005
02:57 am - Set list - 2/5/5
Modern Music/Black Mountain/ s/s Scratch
Hardcore Romantics/Mark Mallman/Mr. Serious/Badman
GPT/Martha Wainwright/ s/t /Maplemusic
Judy Garland/Veal/The Embattled Hearts/Six Shooter
The Alternative to Love/Brendan Benson/The Alternative to Love/V2
The Fake Headlines (live)/The New Pornographers/CBC Radio3 Sessions/CBC
Won't Come Between/Holly Golightly/Slowly But Surely/Damaged Goods
Come Out With Me Tonight/Cordero/Somos Cordero/Daemon
What I'm Trying to Say/Stars/Set Yourself on Fire/Arts and Crafts
I Do Dream You/Jennifer Gentle/Valende/Sub Pop
Cold Hands/The Creeping Nobodiea/Sop Movement Stop Loss/Blocks
Plants/Depistado/The people of and their verses/Jade Tree
Blood on our Hands/Death from Above 1979/You're a Woman, I'm a Machine/Last Gang
Lavender/Oneida/The Wedding/Jagjaguwar
Baby Jack/SadoceanSpaceBear s/t /Outside
Sunshowers/M.I.A./Arular/XL
Bees/Caribou/The Milk of Human Kindness/Domino
Waltzing Around/The Silt/Earlier Ways to Wander/RatDrifting
Land's End/Patrick Wolf/Wind in the Wires/TomLab
I can run faster than you can/Faris Nourallah/King of Sweden/Secretly Canadian
I'm Falling/Faris Nourallah/King of Sweden/Secretly Canadian
Full Moon in my Soul/Robyn Hitchcock/Spooked/Yep Roc
Oh Christy/The Moaners/Dark Snack/Yep Roc
No Theif/The Guest Bedroom/We Like Accidents!/indie
having a ball/Pash/Kingweed
Aquarium Dreams/Rondo Bros./No Time Left On Earth
Science Fiction Music/The Hi-Lo Trons/ s/t / indie
I Close My Eyes/Shivaree/Breach/Zoe
Seen It All/The Graves Brothers Delux/Light/Good Forks
left out now/The Gossip/Real Gamage/Dim mak
(there was no set list posted last week cause I'm a spazz and I lost it)
Apr. 20th, 2005
02:56 am
Got this off rockundrolla:
Copy this list, leaving in the bands you've seen perform live. Delete the ones you haven't, and add other one's you've seen until they total to 30. The double asterisk means these are bands that the previous person had on his/her list.
1. suckerpunch (maybe. can never remember, which was "suckerpunh" and which was "punchbuggy'. Know Isaw one of them.)
2. the weakerthans
3. tony!toni!tone!
4. carolyn mark
5. lou reed**
6. holly golightly
7. sinisters**
8. The Sadies**
9. les sequelles
10. Jens Lekman
11. Neko Case**
12. The Go Gos (first concert ever! my parents took me age 5)
13. Brendan Benson
14. The Muffs
15. Sleater-Kinney
16. Lois
17. Mike Seeger
18. Nick Lowe
19. The New Pornographers
20. the deadly snakes**
21. The Rheostatics
22. Patti Smith
23. Gravy Train!!!
24. The Whitlams
25. Billy Bragg
26. Rufus Wainwright
27. Mary Timony
28. The Priscillas
29. Pansy Division
30. more plastic**
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